No, no no! Cried the zookeeper when he went outside to see what was happening. The zookeeper saw a deil monster chasing the animas. "Stop chasing my animals devil monster, and dont harm them please!" cried the zookeeper. The zookeeper unleashed a strong gust of wind using a magic trick, in an attempt to blow the devil monster away! But instead, the monster stayed in place by using its claws. The devil monster attempted to strike the giraffes but the zookeeper frose him and brought the animals to safety. will the devil monster revive?

 


Comments

Mrs Coleman
06/13/2013 9:41pm

What a great story, I love a bit of magic in a story! Well done with your choice of interesting words and you nearly got all the grammar correct. Well done!

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Alex
06/14/2013 4:00pm

Thank you Mrs.Coleman for the great comment. I can see you have enjoyed my story. You can see many other challenges I did.

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Mrs S (team 100wc)
06/16/2013 2:35am

Hi Alex,
A great descriptive piece of writing. I liked the way you used lots of dialogue - can you see where there are speech marks missing?
My favourite part was, '... Unleashed a strong gust of wind.'
A lovely creative 100 wc entry - keep it up Alex.

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Nicola Richardson
06/16/2013 4:38am

This is very good writing Alex, you have created a good atmosphere with your interesting choice of words. I like the use of magic to move the story along. I hope the devil monster cannot be revived!

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